Do any other exJW woman find themselves acting this way?
I'm not an exJW woman, but as an exJW I find that I may tend to be obedient/compliant/weak-willed at times around "superiors". To my credit, they love me at work both because of my skill and my psychology to get everyone to cooperate productively. Enough about me...
How did you learn to stand up for yourself and not always bend to what others tell you to do?
My opinion and experience: First step is to literally "stand up" with good posture and confident body language. It affects how others view you and how you view yourself. Next, I listen carefully to every interaction and usually have a notebook with me to note things down. If this is a request from someone not my boss, I check with my boss. I have lots to do, so he has the option of telling me to drop it or place it somewhere in my priority. Then, I play through scenarios in my head of how something may play out.
I think I've become an easy target for people looking to take advantage of others.
Learn from the examples of others around you on how to peacefully navigate your workplace. Take incremental steps to where you want to be.
I hope this is helpful somehow.